(If you haven’t experienced Mr/Mrs Anonymous, please feel free to research Ty’s blog comments. I’ve had some Anonymous comments lately too if you’d like to reference those. No Wikipedia reports have yet been written, so for now you’ll have to do your own research. Just know that there are Mr/Mrs Nice Anonymous and then there are Mr/Mrs Rude Anonymous. Most, not all, of what I’ve written below refer to Mr/Mrs Rude Anonymous.)
Dear Anonymous,
Don’t be scared little guy. Don’t fear us. We’re just like you, except that when we comment we leave our names. I know that it’s scary to say something on the World Wide Web ’cause what if that Bin Laden reads it, or what if Bush and his lackeys start tapping your phones, what if…It’s ok. I understand your fears. I know that you’re worried that if we know who you are then you’ll be held to the words that you comment on our own precious blogs. But fear not because we all say stupid things all the time (usually we do it in the form of a blog rather than a comment though).
I would like to add one more thing Mr/Mrs Anonymous. Please be nice. I know it’s hard, but you see, it’s one thing to argue with somebody face to face, but it’s completely different when you are dishing out argumentative comments anonymously (by ‘face’ I am referring to that virtual identity which we all posses. It includes our bios, our previous comments, our posts, etc). Feel free to share your opinion, but don’t do it anonymously…well, unless even after reading this letter you’re still too scared of us to put your name down…in that case…I think my wife would speak for all of us by saying “Grow a pair”
Ryan Neal Woods
PS Did I mention that I think that I’m in love with you anonymous? Yeah, it’s been growing for a long time but I was trying to hide my feelings (I am married you know). I just can’t do it anymore…wow, I feel better now.
Dear Anonymous:I know who you are and that makes it all the more horrible.Just know that I know who you are. Yes… I really and truly do.Thanks,Jacob Moogburg
Arwen I like that no body ever commented toward Jacob. It's funny. And then you just couldn't stand it so you came out of the closte on your own accord.
i think that nobody commented towards jacob because we knew it was arwen…who else would call someone a poopstain…well ryan would have, but ryan wouldnt have spent the time to make an entire fictional, yet funny blog site. (actualy i guess ryan would do that too…raj…) dang.
nonono! I NEVER called anyone a poopstain! That was Ryan! I wanted to comment as Jacob Moogburg but I couldn't because he didn't have a website. So I had to create one. i have no patience.
Who said poopstain? I'm a little confused 'cause Tara is the only one I know of who said poopstain (and she used to say it all the time. I think it may have originated with Ben Roberts, but I'm not sure).Arwen when did you say poopstain?I'm so confused!
i didn't say poopstain. but poopstain has been mentioned about 43 times on my political platform.Who's the man?Poo tha man.Poo ya.
I'm too afraid to post my comments so . . .Anonymous said…I'm just glad that I don't get the real jerk or creepy anons, like Leila and Leilouta used to.
poopity poop poop poop.poop.
oh- and btw- I'm not the same jerk face anonymous from ty's blog. I'm a better one… much better. and I'm not a jerk face. caca-poopoo?
Take my word for it. "Anonymous" on Ty's blog is no mystery to Ty or to Gina. He reveals himself with random comments they recognize all the time. He is basically intruding on their lives without invitation. He thinks he is amusing and intelligent, but his blogs prove he's not. And his intrusions are not welcome–Ty has called me several times to see if I could think of a way to stop him from commenting.In your blogmunity, some of you may have met him briefly many years ago, but you don't know him.To tell you the truth, I hope he never reveals himself because it would be another in a long line of embarrassments for his family.Ty has been far more patient than most would be, but he won't allow anonymous bloggers anymore. I don't blame him. This guy is downright rude and insulting, and Ty deserves better. Let's hope "Anonymous" takes the hint and leaves everyone alone.If he does blog on Ty's site, feel free to tell him to shut up and leave!Thank you for supporting Ty. He deserves support from friends like you!
P.S. Ryan, I don't think you should declare your love for "Anonymous" yet. This guy is not little, not attractive, and not nice.
i realize that alot of what i say might offend people, and i sign my name proudly. sometimes… i hate people. with the love of jesus, of course.i love this post. it is comprised of awesome.
It's taking pretty much all I've got to restrain myself from telling Mr. Anonymous what I think of him and his infantile bullying. I'm glad you lovely bloggers are doing the job I can't allow myself to do. He's at it again over on Ty's more serious blog (the link is scrolling across the top of his normal blog). It's such foolishness, but he's the type to assume that if no one responds to his comments, we must agree with him. Feel free to tell him just what you think the next time you feel like defending a decent human being against ridiculous, unfounded accusations.