Can I honestly admit that I have absolutely no idea how God works? I know thats obvious, but we just spend so much of our time trying to figure it out, or confirm the fact that we already have.
In the comments on my last post I said that in a few days I’d be writing a follow up. I almost decided against it simply because a change of subject might be best. But since this blog was already resonating in my head I decided to just crank it out and let it fly. Again, please know that this post existed before my dads comment in my previous post. Please know, like always, for better or worse, that I write whats in my head…and…well, this is it…
I know that prayer isn’t about getting God to do stuff. I know that it’s relationship, that it’s conversation, and all that. But there is an aspect to prayer that is supplication, petition, or whatever you want to call it. I like to call it Jabezing it (if you don’t know what I’m talking about, don’t worry about it). There is an aspect to prayer that consists of us asking God for stuff. Healing, provision (our daily bread), direction, etc. I understand that sometimes God says “no”, sometimes he says “not right now”, sometimes it’s “you’re asking for the wrong thing”, and sometimes it’s just “ok, here you go.” But I still don’t understand my prayer. I want to pray big. I mean, I want my supplication to make a difference. The whole reason I pray for House of Hope to receive its funding is because I deeply desire for people to be touched through that ministry. I want my prayers to make a difference in those peoples lives. But I find that the only “yes” answers I receive are the ones for good parking spots or a sale on striped polo shirts. And sometimes I question whether that is God or not…though i do love a good bargain.
First: one of the reasons I trust Renovatus is that NO ONE claims to have all the answers. Or, more accurately, any answers. Just observations, personal experience and personal prayer, and support. I love that fact that you claim to not know much at all about how God works.Second: I find myself going back to the passage in Phillipians that God told me to talk about a couple of weeks ago – "don't worry about anything. Instead, pray about everything." Easier said than done, but I'm trying. What it doesn't say is "pray about everything and God will fix it." If it was as simple as that there would be no non-belivers in the whole world. Our society and nature as humans makes us want immediate answers, but that's not how God works. I think "supplication" is the best word ever to decribe my end of the relationship I have with God. Did you notice it has the first two letters as "submit" and "surrender?" When God reciently called me back into His presence on a day-to-day level, He took a very strong hand in my life and feelings, but I'm starting to feel now that He's pulling back a ways and asking me to take a stronger roll in the relationship between He and I. Kind of like a parent and child (well, a LOT like a parent and child): when the child is very young the parent takes a very hands-on approach to raising the child. Once they are grown a bit more, there is more freedom and responsibility to self and the relationship. That's where I am today.I have a lot of very "up-in-the-air" type situations going on in my life right now. I don't expect God to jump down and fix them, or even give me peace simply through prayer. I have to supplicate myself in prayer and continue to do the best I can, having faith that God will do what's best for His will: not mine. It sucks, it's hard, and it's real. I'm turning my prayer from 80% "I want/need this" and 20% "thanks for…" to more of a 90% "thank your so much for…" and 9% "I trust in You" and 1% "please make [this] work out."If I could understand God and His work 100%, why would I need Him?
Hey, Chris? What you said, dude!I cannot EVEN figure God out, but what I do know is that the closer I stick to Him, the more likely I am to notice His movement. The more I am into His word, the more likely it is that I recognize His voice, and the more intent I am on hearing His voice, the more likely I am to accurately interpret inflection and tone.But I also know that I have NO hope of really understanding a God as big as mine! Just when my pride thinks I've got Him all figured out, He does something quite unexpected. Ryan, just about the time when you were writing, "I want to pray big. I mean, I want my supplication to make a difference," I found out that God gave House of Hope a big fat wad of money! (And I hate it when I am SO surprised when, time after time, God answers BIG!) I stand amazed in the Presence!