How To Help

(As things change I will continue to update this blog post. So below there have been added a number of new bullet points capturing a few alternative options to be involved.)

I’ve just added a new tab to the top of the blog that reads “How to Help“. So many people have asked this question or have been asked it by others that in a random moment of clarity I thought “Hmm, maybe I should post a written response…” Revolutionary right?

Many people have asked how they can help our family and/or support Grassroots Conspiracy financially. Let me do my best to give you a few options:

  • To help fund our trip to Disneyland (that just happened, is going to happen again, and is still being paid for) you can make a tax deductible donation via paypal. Send money to troywagner@mac.com and mark it as a gift for Ryan Woods.
  • To setup monthly tax deductible donations that supports our work in leading Grassroots Conspiracy you can go here: http://su.pr/1VwRyQ
  • To send money or checks that support our work in leading Grassroots Conspiracy you can mail a check written to “Renovatus” and earmarked for Ryan Woods or Grassroots Conspiracy to PO Box 873575 Vancouver, WA 98687
  • To donate monies that go directly toward our medical expenses you can deposit money through any Columbia Credit Union bank via account number: 444289
  • Another way to donate monies that go directly to our medical expenses is to send money via paypal to jonesandindia@gmail.com
Here are a few alternative ways to support our family:
  • Help us tell our story. Forward people to my blog, invite them to follow the posts concerning cancer, and invite people to sign up for our Downtown Dispatch.
  • While my future health is unknown a group still intends to move forward with (what will become) our annual Summer fundraiser. Last year on July 17th hundreds of people showed up at Pop Culture to support our family via live music, raffles, and donations. It was overwhelmingly beautiful. The idea is that this fundraiser will happen each year with or without me, with all proceeds going toward an appropriate destination. Please anticipate this event with us!
  • As other events and fundraisers develop I will add them to this page. At this point a local restaurant is hosting one on April 29th. To find out more visit the facebook info page: http://su.pr/4KxeYP
  • We are still trying to figure out what helpful meals and housework will look like in our current context. As this develops we will provide contact info here.
I know I have just provided too many options and most likely convoluted things a bit! The reality however is that it all ends up in the same place regardless of what method you use. Especially if things are nearing the end as the doctors say that they are, the lines between medical expenses, special trips with the family, and part-time salary wages from the church are becoming more and more blurry.
Please feel free to contact me with questions if you need clarity or further information. Email is preferred: ryan@gr-c.org

A New Downtown Dispatch

Keep me in your thoughts today as I go in for MRI’s. I’ll get the results back tomorrow.

On another topic…I think it’s worth your time to read this. My goal is to produce a Dispatch about once a month…I don’t always hit that mark. But I think it’s worth your time. Seriously I do. The Downtown Dispatches are an attempt to capture some of what is emerging in our downtown life as we  are facilitating the beginning of Grassroots Conspiracy.

You can read the March/April dispatch here ( or cut and paste this in your browser: http://su.pr/7ctoD9)

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Why I am a bad neighbor

Before I write this I must at the very least include a giant asterisk that clarifies the reality that due to my health I am unable to engage as fully as I would like or as I feel like I should. As I have said before, there are many factors that eat up my time and energy. Chronic back pain steals hours and days of my time. My chemo regimen also eats up about 10-13 days a month of usefulness. Appointments with oncologists, radiologist, brain surgeons, and naturopaths eat up another significant portion of time. Getting regular MRI’s, CT scans, getting my INR checked (my blood thickness related to my previous clotting and embolism issues), etc. also take up a large portion of time. And then there’s the emotional element of not knowing how much time I literally have and therefore the desire to spend more time with my family and less time with…with you…and my neighbors. So this blog was written more out of the dichotomy between desire and reality than anything else, between what I want to do and what I can do, between what I know i should do and what my body allows me to do. What a mess life can be!

I find being a neighbor hard. Seriously difficult.

I love showing hospitality, we have people in our home all the time. Inviting people into our house is something that both brings us joy and, for the most part, comes pretty easily for us (not quite as true for my son as it is for the rest of the family). I also love running into neighborhood people at the cafe, while walking down main street, etc. but when it comes to actually seeing and knowing those neighbors who live on my street…I’m pretty pathetic. I’m sure it depends on where you live and what type of people live on your block, but what I’m finding is that it takes much more intentionality to actually meet and get to know my immediate neighbors. And I just have not done the work! It is intimidating to me and sounds like a lot of work to find excuses to go to a neighbors door (one who I have not met yet). I’m not against doing that, and I have done so on different occasions, but when it comes down to my actual activity I seem to always find something else to occupy my time. The reality is that I’m just not that great of a neighbor.

We talk about neighborhood a lot in our life and work. In Grassroots Conspiracy neighborhood language is pervasive and important. And I do know hundreds of people in my downtown neighborhoods…but on my actual street…I’m pretty pathetic. I am. We had a new set of people move in a few months ago and did we bring ’em cookies? Nope. We have a few elderly women that live on each end of the street and have I ever tried to be available to them? Nope. There are homes on our street where I couldn’t even tell you how many people live there let alone their names…let alone say that I’ve had them over for dinner…let alone say that I’ve brought them some bundt cake.

The reality is that it just takes more work. I’d rather go sit in a cafe and meet people as they enter or exit because it is easier.* It’s not as if I dont know what to do nor is it that I’ve never been willing to do it. No, I’ve written a bit about it in the past and our family has done some intentional things in the past in order to meet those who live on our block (from putting our garden in the front yard to going door to door we’ve done different things at different times), but when it comes down to it I just find it incredibly hard.

Again I want to justify my actions a little bit. We knew more of our neighbors in our last house. We moved here in October and I got sick in May. So there has never been a real solid time where we’ve been free to invest as fully as we’d like. But regardless of my health I still have the same set of desires, the same expectations (though these expectations are not fair to myself or my wife), and the same level of awareness of what I’m not doing (or not able to do). Regardless of my health I am able to recognize that being a good neighbor can be just plain ol’ hard. It requires a different set of rhythms to ones life…rhythms that may be more difficult for you–they’re more difficult for me for certain.

I hope that you’re able to find space in your life to be present and available to those on your block. I think it’d change your life (though I’d go out on a limb and say that it’d probably make it harder in many ways…relationship always does that!). I think it’d be worth it. And I think I’d like to learn from you.

I hope that I’m able to find space in my life to be present and available to those on my block…but until then I’ll probably continue to park myself at the cafe around the corner.

 

* I’m not trying to downplay the value of going to a public space as a means to get to know people. I can’t imagine ever giving this up as a valuable practice. Rather this is a blog where I’m doing some general griping and simultaneously criticizing myself… apparently even some of the good things I may do…not sure this is the best way to go about writing this blog…but it is what it is right?

What is Grassroots Conspiracy

Movement, church, or network.

The question at hand is which one is Grassroots Conspiracy. Are we a movement, are we a church, or are we a network? You may be thinking that this is an incredibly boring question…but I think it’s worth pursuing and I think it’s answer sheds much light on how we go about our activity as a community of conspirators.

The answer is that we’re a movement. We’re not a church (not yet at least…in the sense that we use the word). We’re not a network (insomuch as intentionality and purpose is concerned). We’re a movement.

Let me define how I’m using these words just a bit.

Network: a network’s commitment is to celebrating the satellite organizations/groups associated with the network. It’s not about what ‘we’ are doing but about what these other groups are doing. A network might give advice but they do not really speak into the movements to which they are connected. Each satellite group has its own leadership, direction, and purpose. A network, as I’m defining it, is about celebrating multiple missions with at least some sense of overlap that causes us to be ‘together’.

 

Church: a church* is a local gathering of Jesus people who are not only committed to each other and a certain way of life, but also to a structured identity that organizes them into a public/social entity. A church exists when you have a community of individuals who choose to die together for the sake of others, when new people are entering into this way of life, and when they’ve then determined to own a shared story publicly, privately and as they move forward into the future. (a whole blog should be written about church)

 

Movement: a movement, as I am defining it, has a central mission–a direction that a collection of people rally around. It is different from a network because unlike a network a movement is about ‘us’, about a direction that we are moving together. A movement can (and should) support satellite groups, but it does so insomuch as they are inline with the movements direction and mission. A movement is not quite a church because it is not about the formation of a localized gathered people as much as it is about a way of life that pursues a certain direction. The distinction is subtle but I think that when lived out practically it makes a huge difference. My guess (my assumption and my hunch) is that a movement should and will lead to the formation of a gathered church where people are not only committed to a way of life but to a gathered way of life.

Grassroots Conspiracy is a movement of people who are choosing to live a certain way. We are a collection of individuals who are choosing to live scattered across the downtown neighborhoods (and a few families who live outside the downtown vicinity), prioritizing living scattered in the neighborhood doing life with and for people over-and-above gathering together often. We gather together only once a month in order to remind each other of the mission that draws us together only then to send each other out to live it. Grassroots Conspiracy works in partnership with a surprisingly large number of churches and organizations. It’s easy to do so because our commitment is to the good news of Jesus (gospel), to seeing his kingdom realized on earth as it is in heaven. At the same time, however, GC has a peculiar way that we are attempting to do life together, certain rhythms that we believe are both fitting to our context and to our story. While we are all about the kingdom and the gospel and therefore in full partnership with anything that is gospel-ish, we also recognize that these rhythms and ways of life that  are distinctively “us” will at times bring separation between us and other groups (hence the reason we’re a movement and not a network) And while we’re committing to a way of life together, I don’t see us as a church because at this point we’re not about the formation of community but to living out the gospel. My guess (my assumption and my hunch) is that this way of life will lead to the creation of a new church…but that’s not where we’re at yet. It’s a part of our anticipated future but not a part of our present reality.

Let me finally add that all of this (and if we were honest much of life) is a grand experiment. We are exploring new ideas, new ways of living, new paradigms for what it means to be church, to do church, to live like Jesus, and to die for the sake of others. I don’t expect to get it right the first go around and so we are therefore all about exploration and experimentation–trying things on, taking things for a spin, and believing that “failure” is a clear part of our future.**

 

* “a church” is different in my mind than “the church”. THE CHURCH is the name given to those who have committed to following the radical ways of Jesus. It is a global movement, it is massive, messy, crosses every culture. A CHURCH is what I refer to as the local and contextualized expression of this massive movement. It is local, it is somewhat definable, and it (too) is super messy.

** I should also add that I’m more nervous posting this blog than most. When you write something down it tends to be viewed concretely (as maybe it should). While I wish I were that type of person that only writes and says things that he’s certain to defend…I’m not. I work things out publicly, in dialog, with others. When I write blogs or engage in conversation I will rarely sit down beforehand and figure out exactly what I believe in a black and white fashion that I then intend to defend. I realize that this is abnormal and potentially unhealthy for a pastor/leader because we’re supposed to have things figured out…but, again, that’s just not me. I do think I can and would defend everything I’ve said above, but I think it would work better in conversation than it has/does as a blog. Regardless I see it as an important set of ideas to put out there as GC moves forward.


Caught Off Guard by Being Caught Off Guard

I’m constantly caught off guard by being caught off guard. It strikes me at the most surprising times and in the most mundane ways. I remember early on in my post surgery recovery being surprised when a character on a TV show or movie would get up and walk without a limp. My mind would automatically place on these fictional characters my own limitations (this was much earlier in my ‘learning to walk again’ phase). Not only was it shocking that they didn’t limp it was surprising to find myself making these unconscious awkward assumptions.

Even still today I often feel a similar twinge of shock. While I walk pretty normal (I do right?) and function quite highly (right?) I’m occasionally caught off guard by things that I can’t do. It’s not that I think that I CAN do them only to be disappointed when I can’t, it’s that I’m randomly faced with little things that I had forgotten I’d lost. Skipping for example. I didn’t skip much prior to surgery, it wasn’t really a big part of my life…but to know that I can’t even physically accomplish such a task is a strange thing. And it’s not that I sit around and think “Hey, I can’t skip”–it’s that I’ll see someone skipping and then instantly be faced with a thought that hadn’t crossed my mind before: “Hey, I can’t skip!”

Even further, I am shocked when I realize how quickly everything has moved. Doing our taxes brought a wave of emotion as I looked at my calendar from 2011. I was in school still. I was a part of a small group that had been gathering for many years. I was engaged in daily morning prayers with housemates. Those things feel like forever ago! I feel a twinge of…of…something. It’s just so shocking to see the changes that surprisingly occurred in a short amount of time. They were so unexpected, so unanticipated, and it feels like two completely different worlds, it feels like so long ago. But it wasn’t a long time ago.

Even more, while at the tax office we were reminded that it was exactly a year ago that Jess and I made the decision to NOT opt out of social security (clergy have the option to do so if they can justify it on certain specific grounds). We wanted to opt out because we felt as though we’d never use it ’cause it wouldn’t be around when we were old, but we felt like we could not justify opting out based on the stipulated conditions. So we stayed in. But who would have thought that only a few months later (ok, the money didn’t start coming in ’till December) we’d be partially living off of a social security disability check?! When we made that decision we absolutely did not think we’d ever need it nor be able to use it…and now look at us. So surprising. So unanticipated.

Some surprises are good: birthday parties, trips to Hawaii (leaving on Tuesday!), new friendships. Some surprises are rough: do I really need to list any more here? But surprises are a part of being human. Even further, surprises are a part of being a follower of God. My wife has always said that the two most surprising things in existence is the Spirit of God and humanity. Those two things never do what you expect, they’re always surprising you. So why would we think that when those two things blend together (church, life, neighborhood, relationships, etc.) we’ll have any ability to imagine what might be?! Why do we think that we can create bullet points for how God and humanity blend?

Our life is teaching us to expect surprises. Grassroots Conspiracy is an extension of this–it is our attempt to capture the localized story of the Spirit of God coming together amongst a specific people. God and humanity…so so surprising.