Charity

Well it’s done. I’ve finally got my bus pass and I’m not a part of the solution.
Yesterday was my first official day as a public transportation rider and I read one chapter in a new book and snoozed for a few stops on the way home from work. It was beautiful.
Some observations…
First observation: People keep their bus passes in the oddest places. Mine was in my wallet. I saw one guy stop, take off his head phones, open up his walkman (yes, with a cassette inside), remove the tape, and flash his bus pass that he keeps under it. Another man flashed his pass and then carefully tucked it in between his stomach and the elastic on his sweat pants. And I’m pretty sure that the guy who keeps his pass in his wallet was the only one who lost his pass yesterday (only to be found on the ground later).
Observation Second: I need more transformation (duh). I think that it was Donald Miller in Blue Like Jazz who wrote about how hard it is to accept charity. We enjoy giving charity, but we don’t want to be the recipients of it. I have slowly started to see this about myself and it disgusts me. I love helping people. I love giving, I love serving, homeless people don’t freak or gross me out (unless it’s very appropriate to feel that way…and in some cases it is). I truly enjoy talking to and helping people in need. But I am not one of them! I’m not in need! Not like that at least. Don’t you dare lump me in with them! When I go to the DSHS (Department of Social Health Services) I immediately think to myself, “wow, I really don’t fit in here. I’m glad that I’m nicely dressed so that people will look at me and say, ‘wow, that guy doesn’t fit here, he’s more normal than us.'” I’ve found these same arrogant and terrible thoughts while riding the bus. I’m not one of them. I like to help them, but if you think about clumping me in with those people then you are seriously off. Pathetic! I’m ashamed of myself. Jesus didn’t seem to have any problems being lumped in with “them”.
God please don’t send me to “them”, I am in need of your charity like everybody else. I am them. God may you shine through me among them.

I think I’m going to enjoy riding the bus…as long as I’m not running late.

3 thoughts on “Charity

  1. Wow. I never thought I'd be jealous of someone who rides the bus. I do like getting places in a hurry. But, sometimes an old fashioned bus ride just seems therapeutic.

  2. I just noticed that in my first line I said "…and I'm not a part of the solution" I meant to say that I am a part of the solution.

  3. i totally can empathize about what you said about needing charity. it's so good giving and helping other people, but when it comes time to ask for help sometimes i think i would rather struggle alone in silence. sounds ridiculous, but it's true.

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