My Friend is Dying

I had a strange conversation with a regular at work tonight. He’s been coming in since the restaurant opened. He used to come in with his partner and they ordered the same drinks every time (a brandy manhattan and a gin martini) and generally the same food. Since his partner died two years ago he stopped drinking and started coming in for the community instead of the food. I know this because he only ever eats two bites before he’s finished. He is 77 years old and alone. I’m not trying to play this up more than it is. He has a sister in Arizona who cannot afford to fly here (he says even for his funeral) and he occasionally has a friend or two join him at the restaurant. But he was going to be alone on Christmas until an employee at the restaurant invited him to their house.

Anyway, tonight I asked him why he didn’t order his regular dessert and he said it was because he was feeling sick. “I’m loosing weight you know” he said. When I asked him about it he said that he was dying. “It’s a losing battle. My body is done and my time is short. I won’t be around much longer.” Fighting against awkwardness and finding it easy to ignore my duties as the manager that night I asked him what it felt like to know or think that your life is nearly done. “I”m OK with it, you can’t grow old and be a sissy! I’m ready to go because I have lived a full life and I’ve been everywhere I want to go. My only fear is that I will outlive my body. Nothing terrifies me more than losing my independence.” “Do you have someone to take care of you if that happens?” He said that he didn’t, that his sister lives far away and can barely afford her own life let alone his.

Somehow the conversation turned to Winston Churchill at this point. He recommended his favorite Churchill biography and I wrote down the title. He told me a story or two about Churchill and FDR, how for a longtime Churchill was the leader of the free world. I told him that I was taking an extended leave of absence from the restaurant and he said he’d miss me. I got his address and phone number and suggested that we find a way to talk when I’m done working.

He has ridden his motorcycle across the United States, he’s worked as a newspaper reporter, owned a publishing company in Hollywood, seen the death of his parter of 37 years, travled around the world multiple times, and now he prefers to watch TV and read books.

I think that I would fear losing my independence too if I was without community. I think that when you live in community you’ve already experienced what it’s like to lose your independence and it no longer seems quite as terrifying. I want my friend to live with my family, to not die alone. I probably should have said something about hope in the resurrection or something like that (I mean, I am a church planter) but I just listened instead.

Who do you look like?

There’s a church planting couple here in the NW that came from a traditional church, had worked in established ministry for years, and felt “called” to work with people in downtown Portland. I do not know these people well so I cannot speak with much insight as to how their lives and hearts have changed over years of doing this ministry. But I can tell you that their appearance has changed. She has had dreads (and has since cut them off and started them again), they have many piercings, tattoos, and they dress the part too. It might be easy for us skeptical types to look at them and make jokes about how they’re trying to look cool or something of that nature. But concerning the way they look my wife heard the woman say that the two of them did not set out to look different and change their appearance. Instead, she said, the more time you spend with a people and the more you fall in love with a people the more you want to look like them and be like them.

As I processed this I remembered me and my other tall and skinny white friend who lived in Portugal together. We stood out. We looked different. We were loud when we road the bus. We wore t-shirts and baggy jeans. But by the time we left some things had changed. Without ever trying or even thinking about it we acted differently in public settings. We dressed differently (embarrassingly enough we began to wear tighter jeans). In many ways, small ways, we began to look more like the people we were with.

I’m intrigued by this idea in two ways.

  1. Are you loving the people around you to the extent that you might start looking like them?
  2. Is your Christian community living and loving in such a way that people who hang out with you are starting to look like you?

Sunday: What's the Point?

What’s the point of worshiping with the church on Sundays?

As I look at the world around me I see that question being asked by Christians and those who don’t call themselves followers of Christ. Maybe its not said like that, maybe its not said at all but is rather a lived out question. I’ve also observed that for Christians and “non-Christians” alike there is a general acceptance of the church when defined as a community of Christ followers. The idea of the church being a group of people journeying together in faith, trying their best to focus on Jesus, to die to self, and to live for the world is something most people can get behind. But I believe there has grown a disconnect between that idea and its Sunday expression.

So I ask again, what’s the point?

Let me tell you what the whole point cannot be. The point cannot be fellowship, because you can get that anywhere anytime. It cannot be anything technical like the music, because if we were honest we’d agree that music is nearly (and sadly) always better outside the church than inside. It can’t be anything connected to duty or obligation, because while those can serve a good purpose at times they are not the primary picture of discipleship that I see in Jesus’ life and ministry. Better descriptive words in Jesus’ ministry (than “duty” or “obligation”) are “invitation” “hope” and “opportunity” We get to go to church.

So let me rephrase the question: what happens on Sunday that is essential to the survival of a Christ follower?

OR

What does Sunday’s church expression offer what cannot be found anywhere else?

OR

How does the churches Sunday worship expression change the world?

SO…

…what’s the point?

The Freedom to Choose

I know a missionary who after returning “home” to America from doing mission work in Africa for some 15 years found himself sobbing in the cereal aisle as he stood there by himself with so many choices he did not know what to do. Where he had been living for the last 15 years his number of choices for nearly everything was limited to one or two items. But all of a sudden he came face to face with the culture shock of have an innumerable number of choices for something even as mundane as breakfast cereal.

In our culture choice has become the new God. Supposedly* the worst thing we can do in our world is to not allow someone the right to choose what they want, when they want it, and how they want it. We are inundated not simply with options, but so many choices that we have even created theology where God is the ultimate chooser. Which job should I take, which dining set should I buy, which china should adorn our dining room table, what restaurant should we go to, which car should I buy…and we beseech the almighty God to make his will clear for our lives because the most important thing to us is that we do not choose poorly. This blog is not even intended to go into the debates that Christians have surrounded themselves with concerning choice: abortion, gay marriage, assisted suicide, health care, and I’m sure the list could go on.

But I want to pause here because I believe there is a hypocrisy in our culture concerning the illusion of choice. I do not know who is at fault, if anybody is, but I do see it and I do believe it must be addressed. You’ll notice earlier that I threw out the word “supposedly” concerning the freedom to choose. Because while this is an underlying assumption, while there is outcry over those those whose choices have been taken away or not allowed like gay or lesbians for example, we have become perfectly comfortable with a level of suppression that pervades our society. I see this in two ways.

  1. Those who are on the outskirts of society, the poor, the elderly, homeless, etc. have been told (in many different ways) that they have no power to choose. Statistically those who grew up in the system of poverty will stay in the system of poverty. Welfare is setup in such a way so as to create suckers, feeders of the system. You are not rewarded for finding work or trying to better yourself. Trust me, I could tell you a number of stories of people who have lost, for example, their food and health benefits from the state that totaled $500 because their income went up $300. What does that teach those in poverty? Don’t make more money! The major blessing for those in poverty with regard to welfare is to have more children ’cause you get more benefits! We shut up the elderly in homes so that we don’t have to care for them. We tell them that their value is in staying to themselves, playing bingo, and knitting afghans that nobody will use.
  2. I should have clarified my previous statements because I do not see this second thing as a suppression of choice but rather a perversion of choice. We have so valued choice in our culture that it is destroying us. Watch Jerry Springer for a moment and count how many times you hear someone say something along the lines of “It’s my body, I’ll do what I want.” or “You can tell me what to do!” Somehow our primary expressions of choice have brought addiction and oppression. Off the top of my head here is a list of things that have become regular in our society through the guise of choice: overeating, using chemicals to grow our food, destroying the earth through pollution, killing babies and damaging pregnant mothers, teenage pregnancy, sex trafficking, the myth of materialism…the list could go on for a long time! Our freedom to choose is killing us! No, seriously, that’s not hyperbole but its both an expression and very much a reality that our freedom to choose has become the thing that is destroying both our physical bodies our our emotional selves (not to mention the spiritual aspect of this that I believe pervades both the physical and emotional).

As I read the stories about the life and work of Jesus, however, I see him constantly empowering people for new choice. Yes, he helps people through physical healing, but it nearly always included a “Go and sin no more” clause at the end. In his teaching, like the Sermon on the Mount specifically, I see him teaching a bunch of down-and-outs that there is blessing in being poor in spirit, in being meek, humble, persecuted, desiring justice, and to be in a place of mourning. I see Jesus teaching a message that says that “you have the freedom to make new and healthy choices! The world tells you that you’re poor but I tell you that it’s actually a blessing to be poor in spirit because the kingdom is filled with them. The world gives you reason to be in constant mourning, but I tell you that it’s actually a blessing ’cause you’ll know comfort more than any others. The world has not shown you justice and so you therefore desire it above all else, but I tell you that this desire is a blessing because if you’re seeking justice you will find it!” I see Jesus taking those whose choices have been seemingly removed from them and he is giving them hope that they have freedom to choose even in the midst of their suffering.

At the church that Jessica will be planting in a year and a half we have crafted a core value that says:

Choice-God’s love is a gift that has not only transformed our future hope but gives us the possibility for restored lives today. Intentionally living out this reality is a gift that can be chosen by any follower of his. We are given the gift of choice.

But is this just one more choice in the midsts of a world inundated with choices? Is the choice to enter into kingdom living that eventually culminates in a clearly heavenly kingdom just one more choice in a world thats overrun with choices? Or is there something different about the message and the method?

Becoming Missional?

This is cross posted from a website connected to my school program that I am in. We would love for you to be a part of the dialogue, for you to read up concerning what’s happening, and to journey with us in this. I wrote the following blog on that website:

The week before I left my wife, children, and the pacific northwest to fly to Rochester Hills, Michigan for our first one week intensive course as a part of Rochester College’s first Missional Leadership cohort I began to get nervous. What kind of people will I be in community with during this learning experience? What kind of learning will we be engaged in? What have I gotten myself into?! And what a generous blessing it was to be welcomed into our first classroom experience by Pat Keifert. As I attempted to explain to people connected to our faith community here in Vancouver, WA I said “You know the people that teach the people that usually teach us? He’s that guy! He supposed to teach my teachers…but he’s teaching me!” Once we walked out of the classroom experience and arrived home in our usual ministry context our heads were still spinning with information, questions, and the task of trying to understand this new framework that we left the classroom with. As I wrestle with all of this I would like to share with you briefly two ideas that have stuck with me and that are currently trying to find their place in my life and ministry.

The Mission Field
We must ask the question: do we believe that our western culture is a mission field? And if, as it should be, we answer with a resounding YES! then I believe we must follow up with some deeply disturbing and hope-filled questions and practices. I say disturbing because if you look up the definition you read ideas like “to interfere with”, “to break up the tranquility”, “to inconvenience”, and “to interrupt.” The reality my friends is that if we intend to be relevant to the world around us (not in some sort of trendy tattoos and gravely voiced worship leader type of way, but in the way that combines the messiness of the world with the transformation of the Spirit) our churches need to be interrupted, inconvenienced, and interfered with! I need MY regular routine interrupted, interfered with, and inconvenienced! We I must start thinking like a missionary. Some of you can share better than I how missionaries operate and what the implications of this is. But I would suggest that we need to start with a posture of listening to the world around us.

The Mission and the Church
I would like to share with you some of my notes. These notes have been directly cut and pasted from the file marked “Missional Church Notes”, these important and detailed notes were written during class, and they have not been altered in any way:
“The church doesn’t have a mission, the mission has a church. The church doesn’t have a mission, the mission has a church. The church doesn’t have a mission, the mission has a church. The church doesn’t have a mission, the mission has a church. The church doesn’t have a mission, the mission has a church.”
Rather than saying more about what I believe the foundation and implications of this is, I would love to hear from you. If, indeed, the church does not have a mission, the mission has a church; how does this change our values and behaviors?
peace.

Ryan Woods
Connections Minister
Renovatus Church
My Blog: downtown.renovatus.com