Community Living

The seven of us (five adults and two kids) have now been living together in the community house for a few days over two months. Here’s is some of what I have learned in two short months:

  • Assume the best–We often assume the worst, but more often than not the reason I did not take out the garbage when I told you that I would is not because I’m trying to get you back but because I forgot. By assuming the best of each other we have discovered much more space for grace and honest dialog.
  • Patience is painful— We are all eager to add in creative, fun, and challenging rhythms to our life together, but we believe that we will be better off long term if we take a patient approach to our life together. Speaking personally this has been one of the most challenging aspects. I want us to all do certain things, to live certain ways, to challenge each other in certain areas, etc. I want to get started now, I want to begin things now, I get fidgety and restless…patience is painful, but crucial as we pursue life together in an authentic way.
  • Conflict is crucial— The most healthy moments in our life together thus far have been when we’ve chosen the path of conflict over burying hurt feelings or frustrated moments. Thus far the points of conflict have served to further define who we are and who we desire to become.
  • Money is awkward— Every time we talk about money it gets weird…and yet we keep doing it. At this point in time we have two areas where we share money (this is in addition to bills, utilities, etc.): we all pool our money together for groceries/household items and we all pool together amounts of money that is dedicated to giving away (in Christian circles we’re talking about tithing here). We talk openly about bills, each of our individual poverty, and our community budget…and its always awkward.
  • Rewards vs. Sacrifice— Westerners value our individuality, we even value a certain level of isolation. Some people think we’re crazy for living with other people and for always having visitors over. And they’re right for thinking this because the sacrifice associated with living in community has been present…but with out a doubt the reward of living in community has far outweighed any sacrifice that was made. Simply said, we’re better together than on our own. Maybe we just have amazing housemates, maybe we’re in a honeymoon period, maybe both…but does it matter?

There’s always more to say and there’s definitely more to come.