This morning I invited everyone to pray for us and the MRI test results that we’d receive later that day (Wednesday).
Well, for the first time (as far as I can remember) our MRI scans actually provided some good news! Turns out that the original larger tumor that splits my spinal cord in two (as opposed to the cancerous tumor sheath encasing my whole spinal cord) has shrunk by a little over a centimeter. The doctors were all shocked and very pleasantly surprised by this news because it’s fairly unexplainable. There is not much precedent for the drug I’m taking to have such an effect.
Where does this leave us? Well, honestly, we’re still one tumor growth spurt away from death or major paralysis but we’re also hoping that this develops into a new trend that will continue. This leaves us in a holding pattern that’s much better than the one we were holding onto last week.
My children’s responses truly capture the tension that exists within me regarding how to respond to this very good news. When we shared with them the results India excitedly exclaimed “Yay! I’m emptying my whole worry box! I’m opening it up and letting out all my worries forever! Up they go into the sky. Pop…pop…pop…” Whereas Jones’ retorted “I’m not letting go of any of my worries! They’re all made of steel and they’ll never go away.”
One part of me wants to let go, celebrate, and feel like everything has changed while the other part of me wants to hold on, not get my hopes too high, and stay in reality (that my back is still filled with cancer). It’s that tension that I briefly wrote about this morning–what does living by faith look like?
For now we’ve been given the gift of good news. It may only last a month, it may last longer. We’re still operating on a 3-6 month time frame, but oh man is it good to hear some good news from those blasted MRI scans!