Watching my son walk through the living room just now I was struck by the fact that he’s such a little person. I don’t mean to say that he’s a small child, but that he’s actually a functioning, living, breathing, thinking, feeling short person who has not yet lived on earth for an extended period of time.
I realize that right about now I’ve confused or annoyed you, but here’s the thing: we treat children as if they’re sub human (definitely sub ‘adult’ human). We naturally desire to control them, to manipulate them in order to facilitate meeting our own needs as adults. We don’t view them as little people (think human being) we view them as sub-human people. Think about it, if you’re in conversation with a friend over a cup of coffee you will either ignore your ringing cell phone or you will give ample explanation why you’re going to answer it in the middle of your conversation. What do you do if you’re talking to a kid? If you’re in conversation with a child and your phone rings how often do we simply answer the phone without worry about the fact that we’re interrupting our conversation with a child? I teach my children constantly (not intentionally) that my phone ringing is more important than my conversation with them. How tragic!
How much easier is it to scream at a child than it is to scream at an adult? How much easier is it for some to justify hitting a child (think spanking) than to justify hitting an adult (please don’t think spanking)?
While children are obviously in a much earlier place of learning–learning how to function, how to read and write, how to use their words kindly, how to cope with stress, etc. the fact that we’re helping to train them should not give reason to treat them with lesser respect than we’d treat an adult. Adults are learners as well right? We’ve just had more time to learn more things…sadly I question whether we’ve learned more than children about how to respect others (could this be because it wasn’t modeled?)
We’ve probably all heard that respect is earned not given and I think I agree with that to an extent. But there’s also that small little fact that as a follower of Jesus I believe that every person (whether tall or small) was created in the image of God and therefore deserves respect and dignity because of his or her identity as beautiful icons of God himself. Age or learning curve cannot change this fact…can it?
Children are entrusted to adults so that they can learn, clearly. What we don't often acknowledge, though, is that the power this gives adults is easily abused – even unintentionally.
It's so easy to just scoop up a child and begin dressing them for bed without considering how traumatic that can appear to the child. It's too easy to fall into the trap of thinking that YOUR needs take precedence because YOU are bigger and more assertive. It's easy to think, "well, kids are flexible…they can do/go/handle whatever" or "It's my responsibility to teach them so I choose the right now they learn patience."
I believe we have a responsibility to the little people in our life. A responsibility to include them in the world of people…not just the world of "adults." They have much to contribute if we are willing to listen and be present.